What if being close to your children doesn’t necessarily contribute to their happiness? This is the question American parents might ask themselves as they read thisa graphic shared by American psychologist Jean Twenge on the Substack website. We see two curves: one measuring the level of satisfaction of final-year American graduates with their relationships with their parents; the other assesses their level of satisfaction with life in general. From 1976 to 2012, the two curves run parallel and even converge in the 2000s. As of 2012, they run in opposite directions. American teenagers appear to be increasingly satisfied with their relationships with their parents, but the curve representing their life satisfaction is declining. Should we read that the more relationships with their parents improve, the more dissatisfied young people become overall? What a slap in the face for us parents who may have believed that being in tune with our children would make them happy!

Author of generations (Atria Books, 2023, untranslated), a book full of statistics and graphics, Jean Twenge bases these curves on data collected since 1976 by researchers at the University of Michigan, which enriches the epidemiological study every year Monitoring the future through questionnaires conducted in schools. She’s concerned about the rise in mental health problems among young Americans: rates of depression among teens doubled between 2011 and 2021, and the rate of young girls who have considered suicide has never been higher (one in three).

In their opinion, the curve showing an improvement in the satisfaction of the parent-child relationship in recent years has the advantage of refuting the hypothesis that the growing restlessness of young people is linked to increased parental pressure. They’re doing poorly, but things are getting better at home: According to the same data, in 2018, less than a third (30%) of graduates still reported having had at least five arguments with their parents in the last twelve months. In 1986 it was almost half (48%).

Less autonomy, more smartphone

Teenagers who no longer fight with their parents, is that really good news? When the famous curves circulated on X, some discovered that this was the opposite a cause for concern. Young people’s quest for independence is a source of tension: a young person who emancipates himself is expected to argue with his parents. Would the absence of disputes be a sign of a renunciation of independence?

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