In front of the school gate, Lila’s parents (some witnesses wished to remain anonymous) could be recognized by their gray hair. “When they picked me up, my classmates thought they were my grandparents”, remembers the 18-year-old girl. His mother is 62 years old. Her father is 67. She lied about her age for a long time. “Now I won’t do it anymore.”assures the student in the first year of her language school.

Lila chose a different path than her parents: her father was a police officer and her mother worked as a nurse. Jobs she talks about in the past tense because they are both retired. Her father was 49 years old when she was born. “However, he was the one who cared about us the most”, she says, referring to her siblings without mentioning her mother, with whom she has a strained relationship.

Lila repeats it: having older parents than average “has no advantages”. As the youngest in the family, the teenager grew up feeling like he had arrived too late. In her opinion, the reason is the ten years that separate her from her two older brothers. and his sister: “When they were little, they traveled a lot with my parents. I was a little sad as they shared their anecdotes. I had none. » Between the first and the last child, his parents no longer have the same budget. And their energy dwindles. Lila will travel less and learn to escape in other ways: basketball, reading or playing the piano. “I have long resented them for not being as young as the others”she admits.

What is a parent like any other? Medicine sets the cursor at the age of 35, the limit at which a pregnant woman is in a “mature pregnancy”. “An extremely violent term”, supports Anaïs Le Brun-Berry, psychoanalyst and educational consultant. In his office at 9^e In the Paris district, she welcomes mothers who feel guilty about having a child after 40. “There is this idea that an older parent will be less able to do that. And that the child can feel it and feel ashamed when comparing his parents with those of his friends.”She believes.

Outdated, incompetent… Older parents are not popular. As the film proves Old fathers, by American stand-up comedian Bill Burr (2023, on Netflix), in which three baby boomers in their fifties discover fatherhood late in life. In a testosterone-rich environment, they encounter a generational gap from other parents. The main character, Jack Kelly, teaches macho principles to his little boy. Is the child injured? His father advises him to put earth on his wound. “I’m trying to make him a guy, not an idiot”he later said to a neighbor, who cautiously recommended that he disinfect the wound.

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