“I come from a popular and loving family in Boulogne-sur-Mer [Pas-de-Calais]. I had a happy childhood, surrounded by my brothers and sisters, my mother, who looked after us at home, and my father, a driver in a ship’s forge. Love was everywhere.

When I was little, I was a dreamer, a nice guy, like my father. The year I turned 15, he got sick and I lost my carefree childhood. Times are tough, including financially. The atmosphere becomes stuffy. I will study graphics with the fear of losing my father and the conscience of costing my family money. I met my future wife and married her at the age of 20 with the consent of her parents – she was not yet an adult at the time and needed to be emancipated.

Our daughter is born and I find a job at a publishing house in Trappes [Yvelines], in a suburb of Paris. In my department, everything is celebrated: birthdays, holidays, births. And even when there’s nothing to celebrate, we water it down. It’s “open bar.”

In 1976 I decided to start my own business and go into advertising. Pretty quickly my business took off. I have big customers. I switch from one cocktail to another, social evenings are always very alcoholic. The success goes to my head. My wife tells me that I drink a lot.

“My company is growing at full speed, things are getting out of control”

We have a very rich social life. We talk often and go to restaurants on weekends. And then one day all the apartments in our building are for sale and all tenants enter the property at the same time. I became president of the union council, which provides an opportunity to organize celebratory meetings at home around co-ownership.

With my work, our lifestyle changes. I buy designer suits and my wife buys fur coats. We don’t deny ourselves anything. My company is growing rapidly and things are getting out of control. I’m losing control. The only moments of peace available to me are after a few drinks, when my mind floats in sweet euphoria. I feel the need to return to this state more and more often.

One day my accountant suddenly told me that the company was in a catastrophic financial situation that I had not expected at all. It’s a debacle. You must file for bankruptcy. I start drinking daily – whiskey, wine, beer – to stop myself from thinking. The company is in liquidation and I’m a zombie.

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